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Dad Jokes
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I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.
Oops!
Okay!
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Oops!
Okay!
Did you hear about the cheese that saved the world?
It was Legend-dairy
Oops!
Okay!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Oops!
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How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Oops!
Okay!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
Oops!
Okay!
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
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Okay!
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
Oops!
Okay!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
Oops!
Okay!
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
Oops!
Okay!
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
Oops!
Okay!
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
yellow!
Oops!
Okay!
Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Oops!
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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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Okay!
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
Oops!
Okay!
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
Oops!
Okay!
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
Oops!
Okay!
Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
Oops!
Okay!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Oops!
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the 'no-bell' prize.
Oops!
Okay!
What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office
Oops!
Okay!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
Oops!
Okay!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Oops!
Okay!
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
Oops!
Okay!
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Oops!
Okay!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Oops!
Okay!
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