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Dad Jokes
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Oops!
Okay!
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
Oops!
Okay!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
Oops!
Okay!
Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
Oops!
Okay!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Oops!
Okay!
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
Oops!
Okay!
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
Oops!
Okay!
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
Oops!
Okay!
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
Oops!
Okay!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Oops!
Okay!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Oops!
Okay!
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
Oops!
Okay!
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Oops!
Okay!
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Oops!
Okay!
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the 'no-bell' prize.
Oops!
Okay!
Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Oops!
Okay!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Oops!
Okay!
Dad, can you put the cat out?
I didn't know it was on fire.
Oops!
Okay!
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
Oops!
Okay!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
Oops!
Okay!
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.
Oops!
Okay!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Oops!
Okay!
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Oops!
Okay!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
Oops!
Okay!
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