Jokes - At the office 1

I started out with _____ and I still have _____ of it.

The _____ with being punctual is that nobody’s there to ______ it.

My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ______ me to _____.

My memory has gotten so bad I was afraid it would cause me to lose my ____. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember _____.

A clean desk is a sign of a _______ desk drawer.

I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How _______ are you?” I said, “I ___ ____ Tuesdays.”

There is a new _____ in our office; everyone is putting names on their ______. I saw it today, while I was eating a ______ named Kevin.

I’m great at multitasking. I can ____ time, be ___, and procrastinate all at ___.

I pretend to _____ as long as they pretend to ____ me.

I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your _____, think of me as a friend who can ____you.

________ : someone whose _____ lies in ruins.

Nothing is _______ to a sufficiently _____ fool.

______ is what you get when you didn’t get what you _____.

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of ______, I always write, “A very good ____”

A ______ is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will ____ _____ to the trip.

Job interview question: "What do you think is your worst quality?" Interviewee: "I'm probably too honest." Interviewer: "That's not a bad thing. It's a good quality." Interviewee: "_ ___ ____ what you think."

I _____ I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted ______.

______ work never killed anyone, but why take the ______?

Some cause happiness ______ they go. Others _____ they go.

To steal ideas from one person is ______. To steal from many is _____.

The proper way to use a stress ball is to ______ it at the last person to _____ you.

Many people quit looking for ____ when they find a ____.

Progress is made by _____ people looking for an _____ way to do things.

I like work. It fascinates me. I ____ and ____ at it for hours.

Artificial _____ is no match for natural ______

I think they picked me for my _____ skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m _____!

_______ work is important; it helps to put the ________ on someone else.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to ___ ___ ____.

I get plenty of exercise – _____ to conclusions, _____ my luck, and dodging _____.