At an ATM, this lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Have you hear the rumor about butter?
Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.
What is a golf club's favorite type of music?
Swing
Why was the mama firefly unhappy?
Because her kids weren't very bright.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now we just call him Dave.
This animal's sense of smell is about 100,000 times stronger than humans’. However, they have only one-sixth our number of taste buds.
Everyone's best friend, the Dog!
The Reindeer!
Otters!
None other than the Skunk!
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup...
and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
What is the smallest country in the world?
Rhode Island
Rome
Hercules
Vatican City
Why are frogs always so happy?
Because they just eat whatever bugs them.
2 fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says...
"How do you drive this thing?!"
Nala, Simba's best friend and love interest, is voiced by Rihanna in The Lion King remake.
False
True
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno!......Dos!!!"
The poof! He was gone without a tres.
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...
I was shocked!
Say, Ernie, would you like some ice cream?
Sure Burt!
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A doyouthinkhesaurus?
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lac-toes.....come on, that was legendairy.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato
Whiteboards....
They are remarkable
Nala, Simba's best friend and love interest, is voiced by Rihanna in The Lion King remake.
False
True
You can't run through a campground...
You can only ran because it's past tents
Is your refrigerator running?
Good, mine too! I will see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow!
What kind of music scares balloons?
Pop music.
These animals play with snowballs for fun
They are Japanese Macaques!
It's the Wood Frog!
They are Emperor Penguins
It's the Koala!
What goes "ooo, oooooo, oooo?"
A cow with no lips.
I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home...
all the signs were there.
These animals play with snowballs for fun
They are Emperor Penguins
It's the Koala!
They are Japanese Macaques!
It's the Wood Frog!
If you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns...
go for the juggler.
There are 1 million of these animals for every ONE human being in the world!
ANTS! That is a lot of ants...
A Blue Whale!
Otters!
They are Emperor Penguins
A man got hit in the head with a can of coke...
but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work
How long can a cockroach live without a head?
Around 24 Hours
Around 2 Hours
Around 2 days / a week
Around 7 days / a week
This animal can sleep for THREE years at a time!
A Possum
A Bear!!!
A Snake!
A Snail!
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll
What is a plumber's favorite shoes?
Clogs
What does ATM stand for?
Always There Machine (ATM)
Automated Teller Machine (ATM)
Automatic Technology Machine (ATM)
At the Moment Machine (ATM)
Why did the orange stop halfway across the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
Is Earth the 3rd or 4th planet from the Sun?
The 2nd
The 3rd
The 7th
The 4th
This animal spends 7 months of the year frozen.
They are Emperor Penguins
The Polar Bear
It's the Shrimp!
It's the Wood Frog!
One tectonic plate bumped into another and said...
"Sorry, my fault."