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What can you give other people and keep at the same time?
Your word.
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Because they'd crack each other up.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
Why was the broom late?
It overswept.
Were you long in hospital?
No, I was the same size as I am now.
How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
Only one. (After that it's no longer empty.)
If you were in a race and passed the person in 2nd place, which place would you be in?
2nd place.
How many months have 28 days?
All of them.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9. (seven ate nine)
What did the big pail say to the little pail?
You look a little pail (pale).
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket.
What do you call a crocodile that steals things?
A crookodile
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge.
What do you call a labrador that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
How do you organise a space party?
You planet.
What do you call an aligator in a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.