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PEERS - Disagreements
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A friend is upset because you didn't save them a seat at lunch. What is the first step to handle this disagreement?
Keep your cool
Your friend says "I'm upset you didn't call when you say you would." How can tell your friend you will do something differently next time?
"I'll try to call you when I say I would next time"
The goal of handling a disagreement is to have the other person admit they are wrong. True or false?
False. The goal is to try to end the disagreement.
You found out your friend was telling other people your secrets. What can you say to suggest what they can do next time?
"I would like it if you didn't do that again" OR "I would like it if you don't tell my secrets again"
If you are the person that is upset, you can't suggest what you want the other person to do. True or false?
False, you can suggest it. "I would like it if you didn't do that again"
What is one way to ask the other person how he/she wants you to solve the problem?
"What can I do to make you feel better?" OR "What would you like me to do?" OR "What can I do to fix this?"
Your friend says "I feel bad when you laugh at me in front of your friends." How can tell your friend you will do something differently next time?
"I'll try not to laugh at you again."
Your friend says "I feel bad when you tell jokes about me." How can tell your friend you will do something differently next time?
"I'll try not to tell jokes about you again."
What is one way to solve the problem?
Tell your friend what you will do differently OR ask the other person what he/she wants you to do.
Your friend says "I don't like it when you didn't defend me. They were teasing me!" How can you say sorry they feel that way?
"I'm sorry you're mad at me" OR "I'm sorry this happened"
Your friend says "I feel upset when you say those things." How can you say sorry they feel that way?
"I'm sorry you feel upset." OR "I'm sorry your feelings for hurt."
Your friend says "I feel frustrated when you didn't sit with me at lunch" How can you say sorry they feel that way?
"I'm sorry you feel frustrated"
Your friend says "I'm hurt you didn't invite me to your hangout." How can you say sorry they feel that way?
"I'm sorry you feel hurt."
You should avoid telling the other person that they are wrong. True or false?
True. This will make the argument worse and they will be more upset at you.
The first step to handling a disgreement appropriately is to explain your side. True or false?
False! You should keep your cool, listen, repeat what the other person said THEN explain your side.
Your friend says "I feel bad when you laugh at me in front of everybody." How can you respond with a repeating statement?
"It sounds like I made you feel bad."
Should you still be friends with someone if you are having disagreements all the time?
No. You may want to think about if this person is the right friend for you.
If you are having disagreements SOMETIMES, should this end your friendship?
No! You can handle these disagreements appropriately.
Disagreements with friends don't happen often. True or false?
False. Disagreements with friends are common!
Your friend says "I don't like it when you tell other people my secrets." How can you respond with a repeating statement?
"It sounds like I hurt your feelings."
Your friend says "I feel frustrated when you tell jokes about me." How can you respond with a repeating statement?
"It sounds like I made you upset" OR "It sounds like I frustrated you."
Your friend says "I feel bad when you make fun of me." How can you respond with a repeating statement?
"It sounds like what I said made you feel bad."
Listening helps us understand the other person's perspective. True or false?
True!
Why do we need to listen to the other person first?
It will help you understand what the disagreement is about
What is one way that helps you keep your cool?
Deep breaths, count slowly to yourself, take some time to cool down before you talk
Your friend says "I feel bad when you tell your jokes about me." How can you respond by using a repeating statement?
"It sounds like I upset you."