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Jokes - At the office 1
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Nothing is _______ to a sufficiently _____ fool.
foolproof / talented
Many people quit looking for ____ when they find a ____.
work / job
I think they picked me for my _____ skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m _____!
motivational / around
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to ___ ___ ____.
speak in public
I pretend to _____ as long as they pretend to ____ me.
work / pay
The _____ with being punctual is that nobody’s there to ______ it.
trouble / appreciate
Progress is made by _____ people looking for an _____ way to do things.
lazy / easier
________ : someone whose _____ lies in ruins.
Archaeologist / career
______ work never killed anyone, but why take the ______?
Hard / chance
Some cause happiness ______ they go. Others _____ they go.
wherever / whenever
Artificial _____ is no match for natural ______
intelligence / stupidity
I _____ I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted ______.
thought / paychecks
______ is what you get when you didn’t get what you _____.
Experience / wanted
I like work. It fascinates me. I ____ and ____ at it for hours.
sit / look at
To steal ideas from one person is ______. To steal from many is _____.
plagiarism / research
A ______ is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will ____ _____ to the trip.
diplomat / look forward
I started out with _____ and I still have _____ of it.
nothing / most
A clean desk is a sign of a _______ desk drawer.
cluttered
I get plenty of exercise – _____ to conclusions, _____ my luck, and dodging _____.
jumping / pushing / deadlines
There is a new _____ in our office; everyone is putting names on their ______. I saw it today, while I was eating a ______ named Kevin.
trend / food / sandwich
The proper way to use a stress ball is to ______ it at the last person to _____ you.
throw / upset
My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ______ me to _____.
ask / do
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your _____, think of me as a friend who can ____you.
boss / fire
I’m great at multitasking. I can ____ time, be ___, and procrastinate all at ___.
waste / unproductive / once.
_______ work is important; it helps to put the ________ on someone else.
Team / blame
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of ______, I always write, “A very good ____”
emergency / doctor
I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How _______ are you?” I said, “I ___ ____ Tuesdays.”
flexible / can't make
My memory has gotten so bad I was afraid it would cause me to lose my ____. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember _____.
job / where
Job interview question: "What do you think is your worst quality?" Interviewee: "I'm probably too honest." Interviewer: "That's not a bad thing. It's a good quality." Interviewee: "_ ___ ____ what you think."
I don't care


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