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show not tell-suspense!

  •  English    12     Public
    articulate style for developing tension in a story
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  • My fingers were chilled to the bone and the hairs on my arms were standing straight up. My hands started to get damp, my heart began thumping...
    I was scared
  •  15
  • It was old and falling down. No one had lived there for years. The forest had grown up around it and the trees made it even darker looking. There was one light in the window- who or what could be there?
    a haunted house
  •  15
  • Down, down, down the stairs went: dark and narrow. I would not be able to see them well. I wondered if there was a rail to hold on to. I could almost see it at the bottom, and old, wooden mess- green with mould and a broken metal handle
    basement door
  •  15
  • There it was again, a small scratching sound. It was too high up to be a mouse, and too repetitive to be a child. I knew there was no one else in the house...there it was again!
    (a sound) behind the door
  •  15
  • The mist swirled around the bare trees. A wind whistled through the dead, brown branches. The road disappeared into the mist and I could hear the sound of a machine a long way ahead.
    an empty road
  •  15
  • .....
    It was a dark night/ It was dark.
  •  25
  • ......
    a ghost!
  •  25
  • ....
    a full moon
  •  25
  • ......
    trapped / hiding
  •  25
  • .................
    a black cat
  •  25
  • ......
    a code
  •  25
  • The shape came towards me- I could see a man's outline. He was getting closer, there was sweatshirt and a hood and ....
    a man
  •  15