In case you were wondering I never allow myself to be exposed to direct sunlight unless I have my scarf, my sunglasses, and a large umbrella.
Missing comma
15
When Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were battling with their light sabers, he became angry.
Pronoun Reference (we don't know who "he" refers to)
15
On my vacation to France, I went to Pares and visited the Eifel Tower, the Louvre museum, and Jim Morrison’s grave.
Spelling (Eiffel Tower)
15
“When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity,” said Einstein.
Quotation - misplaced comma
15
I have a wide variety of supernatural powers, but wish I had the power to go out in the daylight.
Unnecessary comma
15
i took a walk in central park and saw a Mime, who was pretending to be a Policeman, get sprayed with mace by an elderly woman because she thought he was trying to steal her purse.
Wrong Capitalization
15
I enjoy walking alone in the woods at night because I never what I will meet while I am out there in the dark.
Missing Word
15
She grabs my hand then flipped me like I weighed nothing. This showed what a good self-defense course has done.
Verb Tense Shift
15
I understand that vampires and ghouls need love but I don’t think they really understand just how attached I am to my vital, bodily fluids.
Missing Comma
15
We must rely on the science for the progress.
Avoid 'the' when speaking about general terms
15
There are others reasons.
Adjectives don't take plural form
15
They hunt animals for live.
They hunt animals to live. [If expressing a purpose, use 'to' + infinitive.]
15
In the contrary, zoos allow for research into key issues surrounding animal welfare.
On the contrary...
15
It is really tired to read a book on a laptop.
It is really tiring to read a book on a laptop. [Use '-ed' adjectives for subjective feelings and (usually) '-ing' adjectives for objective causes.
15
Fossil fuels include coal, oil or natural gas.
Fossil fuels include coal, oil and natural gas. ['Or' is used for alternatives, i.e. usually one but not all the options.]
15
He is one of those athletes who practices twenty hours a day.