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A limo driver is going the wrong way down a one way street. He goes past four police officers along the way, yet none of them stop him. One even smiled and waved. Why didn’t the police stop him?
Because the limo driver was walking, not driving.
What do you get if you add 2 blackberries and 5 apples?
A house full of gadgets.
Which of the following is the largest? Triangle, circle, square, or rectangle?
Rectangle, it has the most letters.
I can be long and can be short, I can be black, white, brown or purple. You can find me the world over and I am often the main event. What am I?
Rice
How can you burn an apple, blueberry, rose and pumpkin without leaving any ashes but retaining the smell of it?
By burning a candle with its scent.
Sometimes I shine, sometimes I’m dull, sometimes I am big, and sometimes I am small. I can be pointy, I can be curved, and don’t ask me questions because even though I’m sharp, I’m not smart enough to answer you. What am I?
A knife
Two cannibals were chatting as they had their dinner. One complained that he really quite disliked his new mother-in-law. What was the advice given to him by his companion?
So just finish your vegetables!
What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything?
Your shadow.
Paul’s height is six feet, he’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Meat
2 fathers and 2 sons go fishing. Each of them catches one fish. So why do they bring home only 3 fish?
Because the fishing group comprises a grandfather, his son, and his grandson – sp just three people.
I can run but I can’t walk, a mouth but I can’t talk, a head but I can’t think, a bed but I can’t sleep. Who am I?
A river
I’m where yesterday follows today, and tomorrow’s in the middle. What am I?
A dictionary
Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown! What am I?
Time
